Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
