And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
