Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
