I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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