we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
