Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
