Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
