I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
