I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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