Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
