I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
