is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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