Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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