i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
third nipple confirmed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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