I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
