Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
