This girl is more easily done than said...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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