Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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