they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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