fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
