Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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