guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And then my night got REAL pukey
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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