your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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