Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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