I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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