its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
