Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
sarcasm needs its own font
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
