i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
