just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
