i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
