ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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