i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
