I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
