the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
