dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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