Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
