You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
