I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
