I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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