Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i dont even know how to be here
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There r osticjed everywhere
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
