alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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