hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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