if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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