now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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