plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
