The maid of honor just puked.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
