i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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