You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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