Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He did a backflip because drugs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
