Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
