plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
