I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
