I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
