id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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