Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
