im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
