I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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