So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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