if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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