At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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