we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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