it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize