just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
