you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
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It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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