Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
