Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize