Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
