Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
